Flirting is part of human nature and is not in and of itself sexual harassment. Women flirt and men flirt. If someone flirts with you and you flirt back, it's a two-way street and not sexual harassment. If the flirting is unwanted and you do not return it in kind, most of the time it stops there. But when you haven't returned it and the flirting continues, it may be sexual harassment. Some people do not readily pick up on the fact that by not responding, you do not want more of their attention. At this point it is necessary to tell the individual directly that you do not appreciate the flirting and would like it to stop.

     There is a fine line between flirting and sexual harassment. If the behavior continues and you believe you are being sexually harassed, confront the perpetrator and tell him or her (yes, women can sexually harass people, too) in clear terms to stop. Do not mince words or try to spare their feelings. More often than not, the person will backpedal by telling you they were "only fooling around and didn't mean anything serious" or were "just kidding." Occasionally men may say something like, "What's wrong with you? You don't like that? You must be a lesbian." Regardless of the excuse, repeat your message that you consider the behavior to be sexual harassment and you want it to stop.

     Confronting a perpetrator who outranks you can be more difficult. Plan what you will say and stick with it. As awkward as it may seem, the problem will not go away by your ignoring it. In fact, it is likely to get worse, if the individual assumes that you like the attention or that he has you intimidated.

     Timing is everything. Your point must be made shortly, if not immediately, after the behavior occurs, so there is no mistaking what you are talking about. Although you are the victim, this is not the time for a loud or emotional tone of voice. Keep your voice level and make your point unmistakable. If your voice is shaky or you are in tears, the bully who is harassing you will know that they have you intimidated. Don't let them win.

     Although there are other ways to deal with unwanted flirting, a direct approach is the most effective. You can go to the perpetrator's supervisor and tell him about the problem or you can talk to an equal opportunity advisor. This may solve the problem. However, it will almost always elicit the response from the perpetrator, "Well, she (or he) never said anything. How was I to know they didn't like it?"

For more information on this subject read Move to the Front and Women on Your Team by Colonel Jo B. Rusin, US Army Retired.

The most obvious sign of the weasel boss is that he is untrustworthy, especially with the people who work for him. The weasel is looking out for himself and cares little about anyone else, unless he thinks they can help him advance his image as a great leader. Disloyalty is his middle name, and he will quickly deny that he told you to do something, if it suits his purposes.

Example: Command Sgt. Maj. Sikora was in charge of the Noncommissioned Officer Academy for the command. He was very well spoken and always looked like he had just stepped out of a recruiting advertisement. His personal goal was to be a division command sergeant major, and he was frustrated at having been sidelined into his current job. He was ambitious, but more than that, he was ruthless when he had the opportunity to make another NCO look bad. This included his own subordinates. Whenever anything went wrong at the academy, he was quick to identify and crucify whichever of his NCOs he felt was responsible, even if the error was not their fault or if they had been doing exactly what he had told them to do. His personal motto was "Always keep a toad between yourself and the problem." As a result, few NCOs wanted to work at the academy, and those who did were always on edge, fearing the next blow of Command Sgt. Maj. Sikora's ax. To his superiors, his organization looked good, but inside it was an angry hive of discontent.

If you find yourself working for a weasel, treat him or her with care. Be certain that you are following all the rules and their directions to the letter. This is not a time for initiative. Cooperate closely with you peers in a self-defense network, by insuring that whenever possible you aren't working alone. Having witnesses present can protect you from false accusations. Meet the standards and expect to be dinged, but by all means you must appear loyal to this type of boss. The name of the game, when you are working for a weasel, is damage control. Never go over their head to their superiors or higher headquarters for a decision and be very careful about what you write in e-mails.

While this may sound counter-intuitive, consult the weasel for career guidance, even if you have no intention of using his advice, and work with him to get moved to your next job for career development. Ironically, weasel bosses enjoy bragging to their peers about how they recognized and developed the talent of the people who worked for them. Moving out of the weasel's organization may take some time, so patience is essential. There is an old Army saying that if you don't like the person you are working for, just wait. Sooner or later they'll leave or you'll leave.

For more on how to survive bad bosses, read Move Out: The Insider's Guide for Military Leaders.