Bullies are basically insecure people who compensate for their insecurity by picking on others whom they see as inferior. With adults, picking on others seldom takes the form of a physical fight. More often it is a war of words or nasty behavior, which can be every bit as hurtful as physical blows. They have been bullies for most of their lives, and they continue demonstrating this behavior toward those they perceive as being weak.
Male bullies often select women soldiers as their targets because they assume women won't fight back. And because girls are usually taught that fighting is not nice, women soldiers often accommodate bullies by backing down or allowing themselves to be intimidated. Bullies are looking for targets who will back down. If a bully knows that you will stand up to him, he will move on to another target. You must be prepared to stand up for yourself and confront bullies, whether they are male or female bullies, when they target you. A quick tongue will serve you well in dealing with these people.
Inside, most bullies are really cowards, and the last thing they want is for their target to fight back. Even though you may be able to deck the guy who is bullying you, there are better ways to deal with this. You cannot mince words with bullies. When a bully has just said something ugly to you, you must communicate in the same language. A little profanity can go a long way. You need a tough verbal punch. It helps to practice a few well-chosen phrases in advance, so you will be ready if bullying happens. Delivered in a strong, unwavering voice with a hard, direct look, a simple statement such as, "You sorry s____. Get out of my face and mind your own d____ business." can be the surprise punch you need. No apologies, and do not look away. If he responds, just keep staring straight at him. Do not respond. The odds are sooner or later, he will mumble some trash and turn away. You will have won the fight, and this bully is less likely to threaten you again.
When a bully outranks you, you must still take a stand, but you have to be more careful with what you say. For example, "Sir, I can complete this task. I know what I am doing." Again, a steely stare with no tears or looking away is most important. Don't allow them to suck you into an argument. Bullies are trying to intimidate you. If you don't allow yourself to be intimidated, they will move on to someone else.
For more on this subject, read Move to the Front
Male bullies often select women soldiers as their targets because they assume women won't fight back. And because girls are usually taught that fighting is not nice, women soldiers often accommodate bullies by backing down or allowing themselves to be intimidated. Bullies are looking for targets who will back down. If a bully knows that you will stand up to him, he will move on to another target. You must be prepared to stand up for yourself and confront bullies, whether they are male or female bullies, when they target you. A quick tongue will serve you well in dealing with these people.
Inside, most bullies are really cowards, and the last thing they want is for their target to fight back. Even though you may be able to deck the guy who is bullying you, there are better ways to deal with this. You cannot mince words with bullies. When a bully has just said something ugly to you, you must communicate in the same language. A little profanity can go a long way. You need a tough verbal punch. It helps to practice a few well-chosen phrases in advance, so you will be ready if bullying happens. Delivered in a strong, unwavering voice with a hard, direct look, a simple statement such as, "You sorry s____. Get out of my face and mind your own d____ business." can be the surprise punch you need. No apologies, and do not look away. If he responds, just keep staring straight at him. Do not respond. The odds are sooner or later, he will mumble some trash and turn away. You will have won the fight, and this bully is less likely to threaten you again.
When a bully outranks you, you must still take a stand, but you have to be more careful with what you say. For example, "Sir, I can complete this task. I know what I am doing." Again, a steely stare with no tears or looking away is most important. Don't allow them to suck you into an argument. Bullies are trying to intimidate you. If you don't allow yourself to be intimidated, they will move on to someone else.
For more on this subject, read Move to the Front